


Tell Her

by AnnieO



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2014-11-16
Packaged: 2018-02-25 16:27:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2628341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnieO/pseuds/AnnieO
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What ran through the Doctor's mind before he let go in the pit? What did he want to tell Rose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell Her

_“If you get back in touch…if you talk to Rose…Tell her…”_

_“Tell her what Doctor?”_

Oh, so many things…

Tell her thank you, for taking my hand, running, and showing me the universe through innocents and understanding. For taking a scarred, war-tired man and allowing him to see that there is not just death and destruction in his wake, but that even he can see time and space anew after so many centuries. 

Tell her she’s fantastic. Never once did she stop fighting for what she believed was right, even if it meant losing her world, her family, herself…me. Not once did she ask me to stop when actions were needed. That’s all it would have taken, one word from her; stop, and I would have let the universe implode for her. The Daleks, Downing Street, Cardiff, and oh so many others, she could have simply told me to walk away, to let things lie, but not my Rose. No she never let me give up.

Tell her I need her. She’s the one who keeps me from plummeting into the darkness that creeps at the edges of my mind. Always there, lurking and waiting for the moment I turn away to snatch away my sanity and leave me nothing more then the monster the Daleks and so many others fear. She is my shield against my fears and nightmares. Without her I would have tumbled into the darkness of despair.

Tell her I’m sorry. For dieing and leaving her without an understanding that I was still their, just different. Nothing had changed, I still lo…cared for her, and despite the boyish charm I still need to hold he hand to remember why I don’t give up. 

Tell her I’m sorry I left her, alone and trapped thinking I was never coming back. That she never entered my mind when I crashed through that mirror and trapped myself, in the moment of action, that was true. I reacted, as I always do, without thought of consequences to those I take for granted. I’m sorry I made her wait five-and-a-half hours until I found my way back to her. And I am sorry never told her how happy I was to be back in her arms. 

Tell her I’m sorry I trapped her on this impossible word alone and with no way to tell her Mum what happened. She’s strong, my Rose, and I know she’ll survive in this time and place, even find the fantastic life she deserves, but I know it will never be home. No more then the other universe was where we lost Mickey. I just wish I could have found a way to save her this.

Tell her I’m sorry that I can never say what she means to me.

Tell her I can’t fight the urge to fall anymore. Not into the pit, but into the wash of emotions that enrapture my heart and mind whenever I think of her. So now I’m letting go, giving into the urge falling into the abyss of everything I fought so hard to ignore. I’m falling and because I know I can never tell her, I know there will be no safe landing in the end. Rose can’t catch me, because the coward will never let me say those three words. …

_“Tell her I…”_

_“Doctor? Tell her what?”_

Tell her goodbye…

_“Oh she knows…”_

_“Doctor?! Doctor are you there?!”_

Tell her I love her

_“He said your name…”_

Tell her…Oh she knows…


End file.
